Why I Leave “Pushcart Prize nominee” in my Bio

When a small journal nominated one of my stories in 2013, it was the first nod of anything besides publication. It felt good. It was a story I liked, one I still love, one a lot of people since have told me they loved. It’s the story I’ve tinkered on the least post-publication. One I felt I executed with every ounce of skill and heart I had, harmoniously, and to the max. The editor that nominated it treated it like a teacher would a student they really believed in.

One time, I was looking back on some childhood school photos with someone and they pointed out my penchant for colored socks. Like visible-under-the-hem, bright-ass socks. And it was a moment when you realize that something you did and thought little about or did and loved was incredibly dorky.

It’s like that in writing-as-career too. And I mean career in the blandest sense possible. You get your first piece accepted in some little journal and you’re ecstatic. Until something makes you aware of the hierarchy of journals. Then that little journal doesn’t seem worth mentioning anymore, even though it sure made you feel like a real fucking writer two seconds ago. The harder it is to get picked, the better it must be, right? If other people can have this too, it must be crap.

Somewhere between other writers’ snark (usually white, usually over-educated, and fond of hierarchies) making me aware that thousands of writers get nominated for Pushcarts, I came to the conclusion leaving it on my bio was incredibly dorky. Less than a month ago, I was at a writing conference/workshop where it was a joke in someone’s opening remarks. If you google Pushcart Prize, there are dozens of blog posts pointing out how much of a dork you are for believing your small accolade. I should’ve been embarrassed at leaving such a clear trail of newb-ness.


A fruit vendor’s push cart, Cartagena, Colombia by Joe Ross

One day, the Pushcart nominee thing came up in conversation with a respected and lauded poet and teacher friend who keeps it on his bio along with “bigger” awards. “Everyone and their moms gets one of those,” was what I said. And in that way he has of putting your your shit in perspective with an economy of words (fucking poets!) he said, “My moms didn’t.”

What that did to me was two things. One, it snapped me out of a touch of the comemierdas I contracted from these writers. So because these writers who I deemed more knowledgeable about writing-as-career deemed it meh, I had to deem it meh too? Automatically? Without measuring for myself, against myself?

And Two, who was this “everyone” because he was right. Our moms were not getting Pushcart nominations. They were busy getting visa nominations (or not), work nominations, nominating what bills they could pay, and nominating what was for dinner. To put a finer point on it, as another teacher would later put it, “Herman Melville was not thinking about you when he was writing Moby Dick.” Perhaps thousands of American white writers have been nominated, but how many that look like me and come from where I come from? Your small potatoes can be someone’s whole meal.

That conversation, no longer than a minute or two, was a call to stop measuring myself against rulers not made for me. There’s no such thing as everyone or universal experience. And hey if your moms was getting Pushcart nominations and the like, that’s great, my daughter will be able to say that kind of thing, but I was wrong to hold you up as “everyone” when I knew different.

Now, this is not to say, we shouldn’t aim for larger, higher, more. This is also not to say that as you get more that some things won’t drop off to make room for other things, but dammit you be the one to decide what betterment means to you. You be the one to decide what is important on your bio and reflects your trajectory the best at that moment. I just submitted a piece to a prize and left it in. It’s followed by other things that say something about how I’ve been becoming a writer since that nomination, but it’s in there. And look, tomorrow, six months from now, years from now I could totally decide to drop it, but today it still has significance for me.

I loved those socks. My grandma bought them for me with retirement checks. She matched them to my scrunchies. And even though all my socks are black, white, and gray (like my soul!), I look back at the cheerful ankles of my youth with kindness and affection.

You like the socks? Wear the fucking socks.

On the Radar – August Edition

In the last month, I managed to squeeze in a few drastic life changes. I went to Portland for Tin House’s Summer Workshops and learned under the amazing Steve Almond. I wish someone with serious lyrical skill would turn his craft book “This Won’t Take But A Minute, Honey” into the 10 Crack Commandments a la Biggie. Cop that.

Four days after getting home, I got married.

A week after that, I flew to Minnesota for a residency at the Anderson Center, thanks to the generosity of The Jerome Foundation. That’s where I find myself now. Ten days in, I finally feel like I have some forward traction on a novel. Not like the nine days before this weren’t productive, but rereading, revising, editing, and organizing tend to not feel as productive as filling up a page with fresh words. Despite how necessary all that stuff is.

Anyhow, finally got a chance to ask myself what could possibly be next? How can I shape my 2017 to support my writing projects?


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“Submissions to the 2016 1/2K Prize are now OPEN until August 15th! Winner receives $1,000 and publication in Indiana Review. All entries are considered for publication.” Deadline: August 15

Steve Almond is teaching two workshops in the Bay Area:

Palo Alto:
Date: Saturday, August 20
Time: 9-Noon
Cost: $95
Location: Cubberley Community Center, 4000 Middlefield Road, T2, Palo Alto, CA 94303
Format: Lecture, free write, feedback

Date: Sunday, August 21
Time: 9-Noon
Cost: $95
Location: South Van Ness SF 94110 (email stevealmondjoy [at] gmail.com for address)
Format: Lecture, free write, feedback

To reserve a seat, send payment by check or PayPal. If via Paypal, use the friends/family option and send to: sbalmond@earthlink.net.

Email stevealmondjoy [at] gmail.com if you have questions.

This is an interesting one for the right writer. Pretty disconnected, a stipend, no application fee, and quite an environment. “The National Parks Arts Foundation (NPAF) in association with Big Bend National Park of the National Park Service now offers a Residency in the river country of Texas, adjacent and across the river from two Mexican National Parks. This is one of the jewels of the Park Service: one of the largest, most remote, least visited and yet most austerely beautiful parks in the U.S.” Deadline: August 22

The Barthelme Prize for Short Prose is open to pieces of prose poetry, flash fiction, and micro-essays of 500 words or fewer. Established in 2008, the contest awards its winner $1,000 and publication in the journal. Two honorable mentions will receive $250, and all entries will be considered for paid publication on our website as Online Exclusives.” Deadline: August 31

Okey-Panky is open for submissions, until August 31 or until we hit our cap. We accept prose and poetry manuscripts of under 1500 words, and comics. Contributors are paid $100, and there is no submission fee.” Deadline: August 31

Glimmer Train’s Fiction Open: Open to all subjects, all themes, and all writers. Most entries run from 3,000 to 6,000 words, but any lengths from 3,000 to 20,000 words are welcome. 1st place: $3,000. The Very Short Fiction Award is open to all writers. Any story that has not appeared in a print publication is welcome. Word count range: 300 – 3000.” Deadline: August 31

“As a feminist press, Shade Mountain is committed to publishing literature by women, especially women from marginalized/underrepresented communities. We seek literary fiction that’s politically engaged, that challenges the status quo and gender/class/race privilege.” They are currently “seeking novel manuscripts by African American women. Any topic, any style, preferably literary rather than genre.” They published this wonderful anthology that includes one of my own stories. Rosalie is a real champion for her authors and an eagle eye editor. Deadline: September 1

Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts offers up to sixty juried residencies per year to working visual artists, writers, composers, and interdisciplinary artists from across the country and around the world…Residencies are available for 2 to 8 weeks stays. Each resident receives a $100 stipend per week, free housing, and a separate studio. The Center can house up to five artists of various disciplines at any given time.” I stayed for a 2 week residency in April 2015 and would love to return for longer. I count two of the artists I met there as friends now as well so I can’t recommend it enough. Deadline: September 1

“Supported in 2017 and 2018 by the Jerome Foundation, the Lanesboro Artist Residency Program awards two to three residencies per year and allows artists to benefit from studio space, ample time to create, and an entire rural community and its myriad assets as a catalytic vehicle for engagement and artistic experimentation.” I was just the resident artist in February and it came at a critical time for me, when I was leaving a 9-to-5 and switching to writing and self-employment full-time. The community is surprisingly creatively active for its size, super welcoming, and the residency was generous in funding. Apply. Deadline: September 1

Brush Creek Foundation for The Arts is a non-profit organization offering time and space for artistic exploration to visual artists, writers, musicians and composers from all backgrounds, level of expertise, media and genres.” I’ve heard very good things about Brush Creek from peers. Deadline: September 1

The Jentel Artist Residency Program offers dedicated individuals a supportive environment in which to further their creative development.” This was the first residency I was accepted to in 2014. I’d been to VONA  for the second time, had lost a boyfriend to suicide. I was full of ideas and processing trauma. I started the draft of a short story that was published earlier this year, wrote a 10-page essay I trashed, and started drafting notes for a novel I’m writing now. I needed the time more than I knew and watching the artists at work there shifted something in the way I regarded myself as a writer and approached writing as work. Deadline: September 1

Nine-Week Writing Our Lives Personal Essay Workshop. “This class is designed for people who are new or fairly new to the personal essay/memoir and know they want to take on the challenge. Perhaps you are interested in writing a memoir and want to get your feet wet in essay. As a memoir writer myself, I can tell you that the personal essay is the micro of the macro that is memoir. Maybe you’re a seasoned writer who wants to brush up on the essentials. There’s room for you too! Legend has it that Alvin Ailey used to take a basics dance class periodically even after he created his now renowned dance school, “to remind myself,” he said. In the class we will dig into the fundamentals of writing personal essays: how to decide on a topic, how to start, how to read essays like writers (because reading like a writer and reading like a reader are not the same thing), how to build well-developed characters, how to write dialogue, etc. We will be reading essays (lots of them) and dissecting them, analyzing why the author made the decision(s) he/she made. We’ll also be doing tons of writing, including a 1250 word essay as a final project. What I’m saying is you must be willing and able to do the work. The writing life you envision requires it.” Free one-day class: September 10. Workshop begins: September 17

Slice’s sixth annual writers’ conference will draw more than 130+ agents, authors, editors, and publishing pros. Our panels and workshops will cover topics from the craft of writing (plotting, dialogue, characterization, poetry, and more) to the business of writing (pitch letters, landing a book deal, and beyond). Top editors, agents, and authors will discuss crucial steps to help launch a writer’s career. But a book deal is just the beginning of a writer’s professional journey. We invite leading professionals to offer trade secrets about how they transform a great story into a bestselling book (and what writers can do to help them get there).” September 10-11

8-week Creative Nonfiction Workshop “Through group discussion of student work, plus that of published authors, writers in this workshop will examine the art and craft of creative nonfiction. The focus will be on learning to understand and use a full range of literary techniques in order to tell a truly compelling nonfiction story. Topics such as the use of dialogue, the creation of scene, attention to style and how to craft structure from true events will be discussed. Participants will also spend time talking about the particular responsibilities that come with writing creative nonfiction. This workshop is open to writers working on memoir, personal essays or in-depth journalism.” My good friend Jennifer Baker is teaching this workshop and I cannot say enough great things about her. Tireless advocate of literature, keen reader and critic, talented writer, eagle-eyed editor, and baker of some of the most addictive treat you’ve ever had. Go take her class. Begins: September 12

The MacDowell Colony provides time, space, and an inspiring environment to artists of exceptional talent. A MacDowell Fellowship, or residency, consists of exclusive use of a studio, accommodations, and three prepared meals a day for up to eight weeks. There are no residency fees.” The holy grail of residencies. Deadline: September 15

“Literary journal SmokeLong Quarterly is inviting applications from new and emerging flash fiction writers for the 2017 Kathy Fish Fellowship.” Deadline: September 15

I so wish I were home to catch this: BBF: Gender in Science Fiction and Fantasy. “This event brings together celebrated voices from science fiction and fantasy whose work explores gender constructs and/or notions of sexuality, to talk about the current state and representation of these themes in the field. Multi-award winner Catherynne M. Valente (The Labyrinth (2004),Deathless (2011), Radiance (2015)) joins Seth Dickinson(The Traitor Baru Cormorant, 2014), 2015 Nebula Award-winner Alyssa Wong, and Whiting Award-winner Alice Sola Kim.” September 18

“This residency offers up to ten artists a five week period to live and work at the Château de La Napoule.” Deadline: September 19

The Manchester Fiction Prize awards “£10,000 prize for the best short story of up to 2,500 words. Open internationally to new and established writers aged 16 or over (no upper age limit).” Deadline: September 23

The Siena Art Institute’s Summer Residency Program awards accomplished professional artists & writers the opportunity to stay for a month in the beautiful historic city of Siena, in the heart of Tuscany, Italy. The month-long Summer Residency Program grants resident artists a studio space at the Siena Art Institute & a private 1-bedroom apartment in the historic city center of Siena, as well as flight compensation for getting to and from Italy.” Deadline: September 30

Soho Press is “open to unsolicited submissions for our literary list. Please familiarize yourself with the types of books we publish in the literary imprint “Soho Press” before submitting. In general, we are interested in bold voices and original ways of seeing the world.”

For the past ten years, I’ve walked past the brownstone where Langston Hughes lived and wondered why it was empty. How could it be that his home wasn’t preserved as a space for poets, a space to honor his legacy? I’d pass the brownstone, shake my head, and say, “Someone should do something.” I have stopped saying, “Someone should do something” and decided that someone is me.

I, Too, Arts Collective is a non-profit organization committed to nurturing voices from underrepresented communities in the creative arts. Our first major project is to provide a space for emerging and established artists in Harlem to create, connect, and showcase work. Our goal is to lease and renovate the brownstone where Langston Hughes lived in Harlem as a way to not only preserve his legacy but also to build on it and impact young poets and artists.” Donate



This documentary on what Earth would look like if humans disappeared right now.

This face mask: honey, turmeric, egg white, lemon.

These Italian sauces.

This article on how Puerto Rico is living with under this debt crisis.

This motivation.


This practice.

This Seamus Heaney poem with analysis is you’re like me and need lots of light when it comes to poetry.

This Isaac Asimov story.

This writing crack commandment by Steve Almond: “Fuck style. Tell the truth.”


On the Radar – June Edition


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“Submissions for the Bakwin Award for Writing by a Woman are NOW OPEN through June 15, 2016. The Bakwin Award honors full-length prose work (novel, short story collection, or memoir) by an author who is a woman. The winner will receive a $1,000 honorarium, and the winning book will be published by Carolina Wren Press.” Judge is Tayari Jones. Submission deadline: June 15

Hedgebrook 2016 Screenwriters Lab. “Hedgebrook’s Screenwriters Lab supports five screenwriters in developing their projects over a weeklong residency, with two mentors from the film industry, at our retreat on Whidbey Island, Washington.” Application deadline: June 16

Online Class: Become Your Own Best Editor.“Our popular editing course offers a rare, behind-the-scenes look at the editorial process. You’ll learn to bring the same sharp editorial eye to your own work that the editors of One Story bring to each issue. Daily online lessons will guide you through a case study of a One Story debut, issue #188, “The Remains” by Laura Spence-Ash. You’ll follow the story from first draft to publication—studying actual marked-up manuscripts—as the author and editors work together to make the story the best it can be.” June 22nd – 28th

“Register for AAWW’s third Publishing Conference on Saturday, June 25th and you’ll hear from veteran authors, agents and editors from The New Yorker, Penguin Random House, Grove Atlantic, Vice, Buzzfeed, Bomb, and Catapult.”

It went so well last month, I’m teaching Write It Better again. “David Sedaris said that good short stories, “take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized now and uneasy with the fit.” How do they do this? Through a combination of readings, discussion, exercises, and critique this class will cover the elements in short fiction that – when done well – make for a great short story. We’ll discuss characters, plot, setting, dialogue, rewriting, and editing.” Begins June 28

1913 Press is accepting submissions for a prose book to publish. Judge is Maggie Nelson. Deadline: June 30

“The BLR Prizes award outstanding writing related to themes of health, healing, illness, the mind, and the body. First prize is $1,000 (in each genre) and publication in the Spring 2017 issue of BLR. Honorable mention winners will receive $250 and publication in the Spring 2017 issue of BLR.” Submission deadline: July 1

The Winter Tangerine Awards. Judges are Chris Abani for prose, Aracelis Girmay for poetry. Submission deadline: July 1

StoryQuarterly is looking for fiction for its Winter 2017 issue. Submission deadline: July 10. 

Fairy Tale Review is thrilled to announce our third annual contest, with awards for poetry and prose—Kelly Link will serve as our judge for prose, and Traci Brimhall will judge poetry. The selected winners of the prose and poetry contests will each receive $1,000 and publication in The Translucent Issue, which will be released in 2017.” Submission deadine: July 15

This is one of the most nurturing residencies I’ve ever been to. Apply! “Six writers are in residence at a time, each housed in a handcrafted cottage. They spend their days in solitude – writing, reading, taking walks in the woods on the property or on nearby Double Bluff beach. In the evenings, they gather in the farmhouse kitchen to share a home-cooked gourmet meal, their work, their process and their stories. The Writers in Residence Program is Hedgebrook’s core program, supporting the fully-funded residencies of approximately 40 writers at the retreat each year.” Application deadline: July 26

Virginia Quarterly Review reads unsolicited fiction, poetry, and nonfiction submissions from July 1-31

“Feminist Press has partnered with TAYO Literary Magazine to launch a contest seeking the best debut books by women and nonbinary writers of color. First time authors, submit your complete manuscript, either fiction, including novels and short story collections, or narrative memoir, of 50,000 to 80,000 words, and you could receive $5,000 and a publishing contract from the Feminist Press!” Submission deadline: July 31

Gimmick Press is “currently accepting chapbook length (30-50 pages) submissions of pro-wrestling themed poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, and black & white comics and/or illustrations. From the submissions received, we will choose three chapbooks, to be published together in one collection. The creators of each of the three chosen chapbooks will receive payment of $250 and 10 copies of the completed collection.” Submission deadline: July 31

Willapa Bay AIR offers “month-long, self-directed residencies to emerging and established artists, writers, scholars, singer/songwriters, and musical composers. The Residency provides lodging, meals, and work space, at no cost, to six residents each month from March 1 through September 30 of the year.” Application due July 31

“On the Island of Itaparica the Sacatar Foundation operates the Instituto Sacatar, an oceanside historic estate where creative individuals working in all disciplines may apply for eight-week residency fellowships. These residency fellowships provide unstructured time and space for selected Fellows to develop new work in the vibrant context of Bahia, Brazil. Selected through a competitive process open to all, each Sacatar Fellow receives airfare, studio, room and board, as well as logistical support during his/her stay.” Application due July 31


Write It Better: A Short Story Class (the next round!)

David Sedaris said that good short stories, “take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized now and uneasy with the fit.” How do they do this? Through a combination of readings, discussion, exercises, and critique this course will cover the elements in short fiction that – when done well – make for a great short story. We’ll discuss characters, plot, setting, dialogue, rewriting, and editing. The goal is to tighten these elements in our own stories. Beginning and intermediate short fiction writers are welcome. Participants can choose to have a short story critiqued in class, begin a new piece, or simply take everything in and use what they learn later. Maximum class size: 6

About the instructor:

Glendaliz Camacho studied English literature at Fordham University and worked in the editorial departments of Victoria Sanders & Associates and Cambridge University Press. She is a 2013 Pushcart Prize nominee and 2015 Write A House Finalist. She has been an Artist in Residence at Jentel, Caldera, Kimmel Harding Nelson, Hedgebrook, and Lanesboro Arts. Glendaliz is an alum of the Voices of Our Nations Arts Foundation (VONA) Fiction Workshops. She is currently the recipient of a Lower Manhattan Cultural Council Workspace residency.

Her work appears in The Female Complaint: Tales of Unruly Women (Shade Mountain Press), All About Skin: Short Fiction by Women of Color (University of Wisconsin Press), The Butter, The Brooklyn Rail, and Kweli Journal, among others.

Tuesdays (June 28, July 5, July 19, July 26)

6pm – 8pm in Upper Manhattan


For more information and to register: glendalizcamacho [at] gmail.com

On the Radar – May Edition


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“A two-week residency is being offered by The Writers’ Colony at Dairy Hollow for writers with children under 18 living with them. Thanks to a grant from the Sustainable Arts Foundation, this Fellowship is designed to support parents who are also writers. The Fellowship entitles the recipient to a two-week stay at the Writers’ Colony at Dairy Hollow, in beautiful and charming Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Each resident has a private suite with writing space, private bath, and wireless Internet. The residency provides uninterrupted writing time, with a European gourmet dinner prepared five nights a week and served in our community dining room. Residents also share the camaraderie of other writers and artists when they want it, and a community kitchen stocked with the basics for breakfast and lunch. My Time includes the two-week residency and provides a stipend of $1,500 to help pay for child care or travel expenses or to make up for time lost at work.” Deadline: June 1

American Short Fiction‘s Short Story Contest is being judged by Victor LaValle. Deadline: June 1.

Have you ever said, I wish I had time and space to write? Writing residencies provide  unstructured time, a quiet environment, living and working space, and many times even funding. Whenever I am at a residency, I feel like I am living and working exactly as I was meant to. So if you need time to finish that novel, a place away from the stresses and distractions of daily life, a writing residency could be right for you. I’m leading this webinar about the application process. June 2, June 9, June 16

Headlands Center for the Arts “awards fully sponsored residencies to approximately 45 local, national, and international artists each year. Residencies of four to eight weeks include studio space, chef-prepared meals, comfortable housing, and travel and living stipends when available.” Deadline: June 3

Half the World Global Literati Award is awarding $50,000 for a short story, novel, or screenplay “written in English, that give a voice to the inner lives of women. Your work can be romantic; a tale of science fiction; a sensual or erotic exploration; a comic caper; a thrilling mystery or a biographical memoir. We ask only that it gives fresh insight into the lives of women.” Deadline: June 8

I started 2015 with a  residency at Caldera where I wrote a draft of a short story, worked on a novel, and finished a revision of Pigeons. I also read Bret Hart’s autobiography, Elie Wiesel’s Night, a Frida Kahlo biography, Maxine Hong Kington’sThe Woman Warrior. It was such a fruitful stay. “Every winter from January through March, creative individuals and collaborative groups are awarded the gift of time and space at our beautiful Arts Center in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains near Sisters, Oregon for month-long residencies.” Deadline: June 17

“At present The Threepenny Review is paying $400 per story or article, $200 per poem or Table Talk piece.”

Event is looking to publish stories with “compelling characters, plots that surprise us, stories that move us, stories that have something new to say.” Deadline: “We accept prose and poetry submissions year round, but we don’t read during January, July, August or December, so response times during those months may be longer.”




The longer I’m home – not traveling as I have been for the last year and a half – the less I want to leave my house. It used to be a running joke with friends that those of us that lived in The Heights, the older we got, the less we wanted to go further downtown than the upper west side. What for? Expensive drinks, expensive food, crowded trains, drunk White people? One friend confessed, these days I don’t even wanna go below 125th Street.

I just looked around around my living room and legit thought that between a wi-fi connection, books, a Netflix subscription, and texting capability I could live forever pantsless in my living room. (I can live without having another phone conversation ever. I am that person that will let your call go to voicemail, but text you right after.) Every thought of what I need to do during the day (get dog food, do laundry, buy food) is preceded by the lament, that shit requires going outside. (I realize I could buy or do all these things online but when I want things I usually want them now. Like right now. And I need personally prod my avocados. I also suffer from what I think is a New York malaise of not pre-planning what should be stocked in my pantry because I live alone in a city where I can get anything anytime.)

A month ago, I was in Pasadena spending the day with two other writers I’d bonded with at a residency last September. We were doing some light hiking in the hills, catching a view of L.A. sprawled out below. One of the writers asked what’s something we’d really like for ourselves as writers or for our writing. “I’d like my writing to be more beautiful. You know, have more of a poetic and lyrical quality.” Fine, I might’ve actually said, me want to write more pretty.

Anyway, we tried to think of something we could do on a daily basis to get whatever it was we wanted. It was suggested I read a poem everyday. It’s been more like every other day, when I remember, or if I’m prodded by seeing the word “poem” somewhere. The source I’ve liked best for a random selection of poems to start with and work through is Poetry 180: A Poem a Day for American High Schools (which is about my level of comprehension and attention for poetry). It’s curated by Billy Collins who yes of course, I know of him, but I’ve never really sat with his work. The first poem of the 180 is his, aptly titled Introduction to Poetry. Once I read it, I found it so accessible, so darkly humorous, so intelligent, so direct, so expansive, that I was like, I’m in sir.

Demos siquiera en los libros algun lugar a la justicia, ya que por desgracia suele dejarsele tan poco en los negocios del mundo. -Quintana

I’ve been working my way through this documentary about the all-female wing of the YPG in Syria. It’s only an hour long, but it’s been moving and unexpectedly influencing my thoughts about what all female spaces look like, especially as pertaining to commanding, training, fighting, and motivations for fighting in a fantasy novel I’ve been working on.

I have a website like a grownup writer now. Take a look if you don’t believe me!


I’ve been eating a keto diet for about 10 days now. Basically 60% fat, 30% protein, 10% carbs. At what point does one age out of cardio and how close is that to 36? I fucking hate sweating. I have to plan the blowdrying of my hair around date night and workouts. Then I have to make a decision about whether I’d like to work out as a visually impaired person with no glasses on or suffer through them fogging, sliding, falling off and possibly being accidentally trampled. So for now, I’m just eating differently. I’ve lost 6lbs. First weeks are always big losses just from the change and the water intake so I’m cautiously optimistic. Speaking of which, why is it such a challenge to get a gallon of water in me everyday? Like it’s water, why doesn’t my body want that as bad as ice cream. Anyway, there are some really good keto recipes around. I can make all sorts of changes and concessions but hunger I do not do. I made this Brazilian shrimp soup for lunch this week.

Do you ever place a cup precariously on the edge of a table or shelf and think in your grandmother’s voice, eso se va caer? Or worse in your dad’s voice, ya yo veo ese vaso en el piso. And for a minute you’re a rebellious twelve year old again and you’re like, I’m a grown ass person, you can stop telling me when I’m gonna spill something, imma leave it right here.

And then after a hot minute your own mom voice is like, esta vaina se va caer, and imma be mad when it does so let me move it.